Lessons from Vankat. Friday, February 3, 2012

Since I am taking a Tamil class, I am learning the language that I will be around so much this summer. I love it so far, although it is very fast and Vankat speaks extremely fast. I am learning a lot but perhaps my favorite thing to learn is what he shares about Indians and India.
When we were talking about the home and how to speak politely to people, he taught us that you never enter a house for the first time with your left foot, and that you don't shake somebody's hand with your left hand. He said "always always use your right hand, left hand is the poop hand" haha although that was humorous, I was really grateful that he shared that. I wouldn't want to accidentally offend anybody.
Another thing I learned that was interesting, is that they don't eat the cow because it is very important for other things in life, and therefore it should not be eaten. Vankat told us that when we go to a house, milk will be offered to us because it is very respectful. He then hesitated a little bit and said that they use cow dung in India to pat down the floors with. The floors are made of dirt in the Indian villages, and so when it gets very hot and humid, the cow dung keeps the house very very cool, he said it almost feels like AC. I thought this was so interesting and I loved the fact that they know what works and what does not. When it comes to development, it is important, in my opinion to look at how a society is working and not alter anything that may be working just fine for them. For example, I would not want to impose my knowledge of AC on them, or say that I have a better way for them to cool down their house, is they found something that is working for them.
Perhaps the most interesting thing that I have heard Vankat say is that women are very revered in Tamil Nadu. The mom is pretty much the boss and "if you don't respect amma, you are in big trouble". He said that men and women make their marriages work and that they don't get divorced. He even taught us a phrase in Tamil that translates to "a wife is a gift from God". I thought that this was so great.
As I do my research and my interviews, I will keep in mind that my cultural values are on a different scheme then the women that I will be spending my time with.
Arranged marriages in my opinion are not liberating, but to them, it might signify something great that their daughters get to do. I am not sure how it will all pan out, but I do know that trying to figure out how the women feel THEY are being treated and perceived, will help me understand them better than me trying to figure out how they are feeling, using my own cultural perceptions.