Yesterday, I had the amazing opportunity to have dinner with Elder. Bruce C. Hafen, former member of the quorum of the 70. He and his wife were so gracious in having me and of course, when they asked me what I would be doing after graduation, I went on about India for a while. Elder. Hafen then said "You ought to talk to Martha, she would love to hear your story". I had NO idea who Martha was and how and where I would talk to her. Not long after, a woman in her early 30s came into the house and sat down to join us for dinner. I quickly learned that she was a former BYU student and she was friends with the Hafens. She helped them with the landscape around her house. I quickly saw how she was considered part of the family and made herself right at home.
After a quick introduction, I said that I was going to India, to do some research on Women. She then simply expressed that it sounded like a great opportunity and that she was excited for her. I then found out the most amazing thing about her, just merely by asking her what she went to school (it's amazing what you can find out just by asking simple questions).
Martha had done her masters in sociology and ethnography. She had spent months In Australia doing a study in the traditional healing methods that Aborigines practiced. She spoke about living with the Aborigines in their "reservations" and how life was for her there. She also went to Fiji, Tonga and Samoa to do the same study and the things she told me that she had found out were fascinating! She explained that paradigms within a culture change with time, and when she was particularly with the Aborigines, her paradigm was completely reversed.
As I listened, I thought about my experiences in India and all that awaited me there. I told her that I was terrified of everything but that India felt so right at the same time. She then said something that I will never forget. "It's normal to be scared. When I first arrived in Darwin, there were so many unanswered questions and I had no idea where I was going to go, but I was guided. Things were so different with the Aborigines. My world view changed completely. Things will be completely different when you get to India. You will notice little things that you in your western household will not be used to. For example, there were ants everywhere. You open the fridge, and there were ants. You went to climb in bed, and there were geckos sitting there in your sheets. But you live with it, you learn to not let those things bother you. When you are in India, and you notice things that will be shockingly different, talk to the geckos and dance with the ants". I thought about that LONG and HARD. What was she meaning? It didn't take very long for me to figure it out.
As we continued our conversation, I explained that I was a little nervous about offending anyone and that I wanted to be really culturally sensitive. She then said "well, you will be culturally sensitive. But remember, you are learning from them. You want to see how they live their lives, so ask them to teach you. Make yourself completely humble, leave your pride in the states, and go to India completely teachable and with acknowledgment that you DON'T know and understand everything; then they will teach you" That sounded a lot like what I had learned in my Intro to International Development class. Just to go to a different culture and learn from the people, let them teach you what you are meant to learn.
Martha went on to say "take your Liahona with you. Anything that is spiritual, you must keep your spirituality alive and really strong because the Lord will guide you. You will learn to follow your instincts on who to talk to, where to go and what to do. Your instincts will be the Lord talking to you". I was just taken back. I had thought about I obviously was going to pray and read my scriptures in the field, that would not change just because I was in India. However, I had never thought so deeply about how valuable it would be to keep the spirit with me. I was grateful that she shared that.
The last thing she said that made a lasting impression, was: "don't go in thinking you are doing them a favor and blessing them with your presence. When I was first there, I thought that I would be there to help them, and when I was done, it was completely the opposite. They taught me, they helped me, and they saved me".
I want to be able to have that experience in India. This conversation really made a different in my life at this point in time. I am so grateful to have my own set of experiences and like Martha, be able to tell others how much my life was changed for the better.
This is wonderful! Such a thoughtful post. I too have been getting those nervous feelings of anxiety when I realize we are just two months away. It's nice to know that although we will be thousands of miles away, the Spirit will be the same. P.S. Such an adorable title.
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