For the method's practice, I decided that I was going to observe a family that I was visiting. I was really going to pay attention to how they acted around each other, how they acted in public settings and how they acted in private, individually.
When I first walked in the house, I was really surprised to find the dad watching TV and the mom was already asleep. I then remembered that it was my first time in their home, so I waited to be approached rather than me going for it first. The dad came towards me and I immediately went to hug him, which I was thinking was totally appropriate, and luckily for me, he returned that! But I thought about my stay in India and how I don't know if hugging is even appropriate, so I am better off waiting for it.
The next day, the family and I went to the movies and the movie that we all chose to watch was really stupid (I'll disclose the title so that no body else makes the same mistake- "Ghost Rider II"). Anyway, since I was with the family and they had made the effort to take me out and buy my ticket, I did not think it appropriate to critique the movie in front of them, as I would do if I were with friends or my family. I was thinking that in India, there will be some things that I will most likely not like or not be used to. Unless these things are harmful in any way, it is not my place to critique them or share my opinion of it, unless asked. I have had to learn this principle in my life, since I have been known to mess up in the past.
We also went to a restaurant, but there was about a half hour wait. I didn't have a problem with it, but the father of the family did, and it was almost amusing to me. I didn't really notice that he was though, until it was pointed out to me--which shows me that I should probably work more on my observation skills. In India, observing people as a group is really important, but equally as important, is being able to observe the individual.
Anyway, I was really intrigued at how many people didn't seem too happy about the wait either. The desperate seating hostesses were really trying to keep people from leaving, and once in a while, they would announce: "attention Red Robin customers, we are having a lobby contest! if anyone walks up to the counter with a gym membership card, he or she will get free onion rings!". I didn't see anyone walk up, I just saw people rolling their eyes and complaining. A few minutes later, the hostesses again announced "attention Red Robin customers, we are doing a lobby contest! Whoever can get up to the front and dance 'I'm a little tea pot' will get a free order of french fries!". I started to laugh at how the people now seemed less than amused and how a three-year old and his mom were the only ones willing to do this. Everybody seemed so impatient and I must admit, I was a little too. However, I thought about the polychronic vs. monochronic time and how most of the people in the lobby really wanted their food. They really didn't care about anything else. It wasn't wrong, just different attitudes and cultural characteristics.
As I was thinking about my observations, what really stood out to me was the fact that we often times are immersed in a different culture and constantly measure it with our own. I do this all the time! and this little exercise has taught me that there is no way that I can get really immersed and participate fully, if I don't get rid of judgment. By simply observing and accepting people as they are, without pre-judgments, allows me to better understand them and see their motives from a different angle. I know that this will be an important principle to apply in India, because I will always see things that make no sense to me culturally, and I'll be REALLY clueless and lost, but if I rely on my observations and accept the people around me, I'l be able to understand them better, and that's really my ultimate goal.
No comments:
Post a Comment